By Jeeves: Lyrics To The 'Lost' Songs

The lyrics on this page are published with permission by Alan Ayckbourn and should not be reproduced or stored in any form without the permission of the copyright holder.

Scylla And Charybdis And The Deep Blue Sea

Scylla and Charybdis And The Deep Blue Sea was written for By Jeeves and actually performed in the workshop version of the musical. It was then replaced by the song which would become What Have You Got To Say, Jeeves? Although lacking Jeeves' interaction and not aimed at the butler, the song performs the same service of Bertie appealing for help at a crucial point in the plot when everything seems to be going wrong.

Bertie:
Rather like the instance of the whirlpool and the rock
There's a case for going carefully, a time for taking stock.
You can really be in trouble if you find yourself to be
Between Scylla and Charybdis and the deep blue sea.

Take the case of Icarus who flew too near the sun,
Though he prob'ly meant no harm and it was just a bit of fun.
Yes, but where does all that get you when you're hanging from a tree?
Between Scylla and Charybdis and the deep blue sea.

History tells us all too clearly
When danger looms there's no such word as nearly.
If you value your existence dearly,
Time to steer your dinghy
To some island thingy....

Then there's Desdemona in that Shakespeare fellow's play,
If she'd listened to her father she'd have been alive today.
Now her husband's in her bedroom and he's clearly left his tree,
Think he's Scylla and Charybdis and the deep blue sea.

What about poor Abelard and his unpleasant end?
He'd been better off without Heloise to treat her as a friend.
How on Earth's he to explain it when his voice goes up a key?
I've lost Scylla and Charybdis and the deep blue sea.

Here I am in just the same position,
Like General Custer out of ammunition...
I must bow my head in meek submission
Thought I wouldn't choose it,
Time to grasp the whosit...

Bear in mind what happened to those people in the past,
There is only one direction and I'd better take it fast,
If I hang around much longer then the last you'll see of me
Is my Scylla and Charybdis in the deep blue sea.

Copyright: Alan Ayckbourn. Please do not reproduce without permission of the copyright holder.