Jeeves: Lyrics To The 'Lost' Songs

The lyrics on this page are published with permission by Alan Ayckbourn and should not be reproduced or stored in any form without the permission of the copyright holder.

Eulalie

Eulalie is the song in Jeeves which is used to defeat the villainous Spode. Jeeves has discovered Spode's dark secret and advises Bertie that merely saying the word Eulalie will be enough to scare Spode away. No reason in the musical is given for this and it ends with the curtain closing as Jeeves is about to apparently explain all. In the Wodehouse novels, Eulalie is revealed to be a lingerie shop in Bond Street of which Spode is the founder and proprietor and is desperate to keep a secret.
With the character of Spode excised from
By Jeeves, the song Eulalie obviously did not make it into the revised musical.

Jeeves:
The more that a man is insincere
The more he can be deterred.
Amazing to think he should live in fear
of one word - quite absurd, sir.

Bertie:
Every person in history
Has his Achilles heel,
A man's is in his stomach, every woman knows...
There's some who will sell you their mothers for money
And bounders like that.
Yes, it's simply a question,
A psychological thing.
There's never been a dog who could resist a bone
There's always a flaw - we've each got our own.
Eulalie - you'll do it for Spode...
Eulaleeleee... Eulaleelooo...

Some nights I bet
You awake in a sweat,
Just remembering
Some simply awful thing.
Something you're concealing
In the depths of your soul -
If it got round you'd curl up and die.
So it is with Sir Roderick,
Say the magical word -
Just murmur to him softly in hi shell-like ear,
Eulalie, Eulalie, Eulalie, Eulalie, Eulay-lay-loo...

It'll turn him to water,
Sir Roderick H2O.
He'll never raise his head or show his shorts again,
A Gentle old merino - yes - a mouse among men...
Eulalie - you've done it for Spode...

Copyright: Alan Ayckbourn. Please do not reproduce without permission of the copyright holder.