Jeeves: Lyrics To The 'Lost' Songs

The lyrics on this page are published with permission by Alan Ayckbourn and should not be reproduced or stored in any form without the permission of the copyright holder.

Food's Old Sweet Song

Food's Old Sweet Song was part of the original production of Jeeves at Bristol Hippodrome before it transferred to the West End. Sung by Aunt Dahlia, it was cut from the musical when in a bid to substantially reduce the running time, the entirety of Aunt Dahlia's character and her sub-plot was excised from the production. The song sets up the sub-plot in which Dahlia asks Bertie to recover a contract tying Dahlia's chef to the villain Spode.

Dahlia:
There are two qualities
A Frenchman has imbued.
One is for womankind
The other is for food.
His - je ne sais -
Just the way
He will prepare them
One he will sweeten
One he will savour
One he will flirt with
One test for flavour

It's all done with love - from the heart

There is such savoire faire
Such a smooth technique.
He uses loving care
To bring things to a peak.
For, at his wish
Every dish
Turns to ambrosia.
Melts as you taste it
Soft and fulfilling.
Fills men with ardour
Makes women willing -

Yes. We're all in the hands of the chef.

Ah! Those meals I remember well.
Un petit saute de boeuf - ou le specialite
Jambon braise marvendelle
Et le poulet saute - served with un peu de choufleur
Avec un soupcon de la sauce de mornay.
Where are you now... old friends...?

When time hangs heavily
And appetite has cloyed.
I sit remembering
The meals That I've enjoyed.
Each veloute
Each soufflé
Fondue de poulet.
Life's just a mealtime
served up in courses.
Spiced with our weddings,
Deaths and divorces.

And served by that greatest chef of all...

Copyright: Alan Ayckbourn. Please do not reproduce without permission of the copyright holder.